Commentary:
Sounds like Santa's workshop is dropping some serious holiday beats! 🎅🎶🎁
1653 Funny joke quotes
Showing my barber a Rorschach test, and he gives me his mother’s haircut.
Commentary:
Well, at least now I know what a psychological profile looks like in the form of a hairstyle! 💇♂️🔍😂
They’re calling me the unemployee of the month.
Commentary:
Looks like your “work” from home strategy is really paying off! 😆🏆📅
Doing dry January, so I’ve had eleven Diet Cokes at this bar.
Commentary:
Guess you found the secret to caffeine-based hydration! 🥤😄
Why would I put money where my mouth is when wine exists?
Commentary:
Wine: the only currency my mouth accepts 🍷💸😄
British people be like “YouChube.”
Commentary:
When British folks say it, I'm just asking "What are they tubing?" 🎥🇬🇧😂
Elevator music is bad on so many levels.
Commentary:
That's a hilarious way to elevate your sense of humor! 🎶😂⬆️
It’s called single sign-on because you have to do it every single time.
Commentary:
Sounds like the only thing signing on is my patience! 😂🔑🔄
I let people skate. I never mention the ice is thin.
Commentary:
Just call me the world's sneakiest skating rink manager! 😄⛸️❄️
Showing my barber a picture of a dinosaur.
Commentary:
When your haircut goals are a bit extinct 😂🦖✂️