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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Telling the guy next to me on the subway that I’m not even ticklish, so don’t bother trying.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,406

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Just shared via Facebook:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Spotted on Pinterest:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Making waves on Facebook:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Going bananas on X:

Times New Roman never did anything to anybody. It was a real trooper. Then society unceremoniously dethroned it.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

Live now on Threads:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Spotted on Discord:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Funny lakes quotes

Funny lakes quotes bring all the splashy vibes and cozy chuckles you need for your next water adventure 🌊😂 Whether you’re fishing for laughs or just floating through life, these quirky sayings will reel you in with their witty waves 🎣😄 Dive into a sea of humor that’s perfect for lake lovers, weekend warriors, and anyone who appreciates a good pun by the water’s edge 🌅🐟!

New funny lakes quotes 👇

All funny lakes quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Threads this month:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

94 shares on TikTok this month:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Back to the Future and chill?

94 shares on Threads this month:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,618

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

Seen just now on Slack:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Going viral on Slack:

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Live now on Instagram:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

Shared recently on X:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

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