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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2244 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,406

Funny Quotes Topics

15,110

Funny Quotes Images

12,406

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Seen just now on Threads:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Spotted on TikTok:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Just shared via Threads:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2244 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,406

Funny Quotes Topics

15,110

Funny Quotes Images

12,406

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Breaking via Discord:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Shared recently on Discord:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Shared recently on Discord:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I was dropped as an adult.

Just landed via Slack:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Trending via Facebook:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

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