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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Just landed via Discord:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Just landed via TikTok:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Live now on YouTube:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Just shared via Slack:

Relationship status: he escaped.

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Funny life before internet quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Just shared via Messenger:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Trending via Instagram:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Going viral on Messenger:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Going viral on YouTube:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Live now on Reddit:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Breaking via Snapchat:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Breaking via Telegram:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

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