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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,334

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Live now on Facebook:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Making waves on Telegram:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Live now on X:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Funny living costs quotes

New funny living costs quotes 👇

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

3 weeks ago

apartment, confusion, costs, doing, every, expense, getting, humor, living, living costs, performance, performance review, raise, rent, review, sense, year

All funny living costs quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Threads this month:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

32 shares on YouTube this month:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

87 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

45 shares on Slack this month:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

63 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

66 shares on X this month:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

British people be like “YouChube.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Going viral on Threads:

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

Just shared via Snapchat:

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

Just shared via Twitch:

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

Breaking via TikTok:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Just landed via TikTok:

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

Spotted on X:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Shared recently on Threads:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Trending via WeChat:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

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Funny living costs quotes

New funny living costs quotes 👇

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

All funny living costs quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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