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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Earth is hard.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Making waves on Telegram:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

Just landed via X:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Spotted on YouTube:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Shared recently on YouTube:

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Hello, I’m a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.

Freshly posted on Slack:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Funny masculine quotes

Funny masculine quotes bring a hilarious twist to manly vibes 😎💪 Whether poking fun at classic macho moments or celebrating dad jokes with a wink, these witty lines keep the laughs rolling 😂🔥 Perfect for sharing with your bros or lighting up your feed, they remind us that real strength includes a great sense of humor! Ready to chuckle and flex those smile muscles? Let’s dive in! 😄🎉

New funny masculine quotes 👇

All funny masculine quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

47 shares on Discord this month:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

100 shares on X this month:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

56 shares on X this month:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

77 shares on Discord this month:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,733

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Becoming a DJ, but only because I like to impose my will and preferences upon the masses.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Going viral on Discord:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Spotted on Slack:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Live now on Instagram:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Shared recently on Slack:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

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