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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Spotted on Twitch:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Trending via Telegram:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Making waves on Slack:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Just landed via Telegram:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Spotted on YouTube:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Spotted on WeChat:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Live now on Twitch:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Going viral on TikTok:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Live now on Twitch:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Live now on Instagram:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Just shared via Reddit:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Breaking via Instagram:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

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