Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,412

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Just shared via X:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Breaking via Snapchat:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Going bananas on WeChat:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Making waves on Telegram:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Funny masseuse quotes

Funny masseuse quotes are the perfect way to tickle your funny bone while celebrating the art of relaxation 💆‍♂️😂 Whether you’re a pro kneading knots or just love a good massage pun, these witty gems will have you giggling between sessions 🤣✨ Ready to unwind with some humor? Let’s dive into the lighter side of massage therapy and keep those good vibes flowing! 🌟🙌

New funny masseuse quotes 👇

All funny masseuse quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Instagram this month:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

16 shares on Threads this month:

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

98 shares on X this month:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

77 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Blowing over it is also dusting.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,621

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

Just landed via Discord:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Live now on Messenger:

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Broadcasted on Telegram:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Just landed via Telegram:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Trending via Messenger:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Going viral on TikTok:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

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