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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,713

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Trending via Telegram:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Going viral on Messenger:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Making waves on Discord:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Making waves on Reddit:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Just landed via Reddit:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

Live now on TikTok:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Just landed via Pinterest:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Just landed via Threads:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Funny mazel quotes

New funny mazel quotes 👇

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

3 days ago

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All funny mazel quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Messenger this month:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

13 shares on Discord this month:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

92 shares on Discord this month:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Going viral on Slack:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Spotted on Twitch:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Just shared via Instagram:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Going viral on Twitch:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Broadcasted on X:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny mazel quotes

New funny mazel quotes 👇

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

All funny mazel quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨