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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Live now on Instagram:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Live now on Pinterest:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Going viral on Reddit:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

Freshly posted on X:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Trending via Messenger:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Seen just now on Messenger:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

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Funny money problem quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Going viral on TikTok:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Going viral on Threads:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Going viral on Reddit:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Spotted on WeChat:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

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