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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Jan 7, 2026

3,521

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

Spotted on Instagram:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Spotted on Snapchat:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Spotted on Messenger:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

Just landed via X:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Going bananas on WeChat:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Funny Moses quotes

Funny Moses quotes bring a hilarious twist to the legendary story of the great leader and lawgiver 😄✋ From parting seas to fiery tablets, these witty lines add a splash of humor to ancient tales 🌊🔥 Ready to laugh and see Moses like never before? Dive into these playful moments that prove even the mightiest had a fun side! 😂📜

New funny Moses quotes 👇

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

0

2 months ago

bible, Bible lesson, Bible name, giving, humor, kid, kids, last, lesson, lessons, me, Moses, name, names, night, robbery, stop, tried

Someone from 🇿🇲 has recently shared this quote.

18 shares on Pinterest this month.
So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

0

2 months ago

biblical, cloud, download, file, humor, man, Moses, pun, tablet, technology, using

Someone from 🇭🇹 has recently shared this quote.

63 shares on Snapchat this month.

All funny Moses quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

75 shares on Threads this month:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

83 shares on Slack this month:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

91 shares on Slack this month:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,415

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Just landed via Telegram:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Breaking via Telegram:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Making waves on Threads:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

Making waves on Reddit:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

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