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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

America is truly the best country in the world at not learning from their mistakes.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,754

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Spotted on Instagram:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

Just shared via Reddit:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Going viral on Twitch:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Making waves on Facebook:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Trending via Telegram:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Funny motor quotes

Funny motor quotes 🚗💨 are the perfect way to shift your mood into high gear! Whether you’re a speed demon 🏎️ or just love the thrill of the open road 🛣️, these witty and hilarious sayings will have you laughing all the way to your next pit stop. Ready to fuel your day with some motor-powered humor? Buckle up and enjoy the ride! 😂🔥

New funny motor quotes 👇

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

6 days ago

fine, fine motor skills, gift, gift wrapping, holiday, humor, motor, objects, paper, season, skills, T-Rex, wrap, wrapping
I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

2 weeks ago

bag, choose, drunken, drunken panda, fine, fine motor skills, gift, gift bag, gift giving, giving, humor, i, just, laziness, motor, Panda, skills, wrapping

All funny motor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

55 shares on Threads this month:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

Being strange is exhausting.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,474

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Trending via WhatsApp:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Seen just now on Threads:

wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

Going viral on WeChat:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Breaking via WeChat:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The government even made aliens boring.

Making waves on WeChat:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

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