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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

A little friendly reminder that if somebody looks tired, you really don’t have to tell them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,728

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Spotted on Telegram:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Seen just now on Threads:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Just landed via Facebook:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Trending via Discord:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Funny orthopedist quotes

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All funny orthopedist quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

11 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

83 shares on X this month:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,252

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Live now on Reddit:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Making waves on WeChat:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Trending via Discord:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Breaking via TikTok:

James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.

Live now on WeChat:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Live now on YouTube:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

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