Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,961

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,961

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Seen just now on Messenger:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Making waves on Snapchat:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Live now on Twitch:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Live now on Reddit:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Reported on Facebook:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Seen just now on Facebook:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Home » Funny Paralysis Quotes

Funny paralysis quotes

New funny paralysis quotes 👇

For even more funny paralysis quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny paralysis quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,961

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,961

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Making waves on Instagram:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Just landed via Facebook:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Just landed via Discord:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Making waves on Telegram:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Just shared via TikTok:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Trending via Pinterest:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Freshly posted on X:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴