Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Everything feels like thinking the stripper actually likes you.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,265

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Going bananas on Facebook:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Making waves on Instagram:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

Shared recently on YouTube:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Spotted on Messenger:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

24 Funny pet behavior quotes

More funny pet behavior quotes 👇

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

2 months ago

always, animal, animal video, behavior, cat, emotions, humor, i, media, mood, pet, pet behavior, puppy, share, sharing, shit, social, social media, someone, sweet, type, video, video sharing, videos
There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

3 months ago

behavior, dog, dogs, drug-sniffing, drug-sniffing dog, guide, guide dog, humor, life, pet, pet behavior, pets, poop, save
If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

3 months ago

behavior, cat, couch, humor, leave, lift, pet, pet behavior, Velcro, want
You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

3 months ago

behavior, couch, dog, evil, evil eye, eye, humor, i, lay, lay down, me, pet, pet behavior, relatable, sarcasm, scare

For even more funny pet behavior quotes, hit next 👇

All funny pet behavior quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Slack this month:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

I need to move to New York and be miserable. I think it’d be so good for me.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

86 shares on X this month:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Making waves on Facebook:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Shared recently on Discord:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Just landed via Reddit:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Live now on Telegram:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Making waves on Snapchat:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Just landed via YouTube:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

24 Funny pet behavior quotes

More funny pet behavior quotes 👇

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

All funny pet behavior quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨