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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,404

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Going viral on Slack:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Making waves on WeChat:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Seen just now on Facebook:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Just landed via WeChat:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Funny pros and cons quotes

New funny pros and cons quotes 👇

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

2 weeks ago

business, business decision, cons, decision, decision making, going, human, human interaction, humor, i, interaction, introversion, love, making, people, pros, pros and cons, socializing, used, weigh

All funny pros and cons quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

52 shares on Slack this month:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

88 shares on Reddit this month:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Knowing a guy who knows a guy is one of the most valuable things in the entire world.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

All roads lead to disappointment.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Going bananas on WeChat:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Trending via Instagram:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Breaking via X:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

Just shared via Slack:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Shared recently on YouTube:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Live now on X:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Just shared via WeChat:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny pros and cons quotes

New funny pros and cons quotes 👇

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

All funny pros and cons quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨