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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,344

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Shared recently on X:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Trending via WeChat:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Going viral on Slack:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Going bananas on Slack:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Making waves on TikTok:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Making waves on Telegram:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Making waves on Threads:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

Funny Q-Tip quotes

Funny Q-Tip quotes are here to tickle your funny bone while keeping things clean 🧼😄 From clever puns to unexpected twists, these witty lines turn everyday ear-cleaning into a laugh-out-loud moment 🎉👂 Ready to add some humor to your hygiene routine? Let’s dive into the quirkiest, most amusing takes on that little cotton swab we all know and love! 😂✨

New funny Q-Tip quotes 👇

All funny Q-Tip quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Facebook this month:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

82 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

I was dropped as an adult.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Another year? But the last one got such bad reviews.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

47 shares on WeChat this month:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Double chins are better than double faces.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,754

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Making waves on Facebook:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Seen just now on Telegram:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Spotted on Messenger:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Spotted on Twitch:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Just landed via YouTube:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Just shared via X:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

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