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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,360

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Shared recently on Twitch:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Trending via WeChat:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Funny rediscover quotes

New funny rediscover quotes 👇

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

0

2 months ago

after, always, attempt, dragon, happiness, hoard, i, lie, me, nice, nice thing, possessions, purge, rediscover, thing, things

Someone from 🇲🇼 has recently bookmarked this quote.

92 shares on Discord this month.

All funny rediscover quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Discord this month:

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

59 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

47 shares on Threads this month:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Just landed via Discord:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Just landed via Facebook:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Spotted on TikTok:

Hand sanitizer will find a cut you didn’t even know you had.

Going viral on Instagram:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny rediscover quotes

New funny rediscover quotes 👇

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

All funny rediscover quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨