Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,579

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Trending via Twitch:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Making waves on Threads:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Trending via Instagram:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Shared recently on Discord:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Making waves on Facebook:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Spotted on Reddit:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Funny return trip quotes

Funny return trip quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to those inevitable journeys back home 🚗😂 Whether you’re stuck in traffic or reminiscing about your adventures, these witty lines will keep the vibes light and the smiles wide 😎✨ Ready to turn that return trip into a laugh-filled ride? Buckle up and get inspired! 🎉🛣️

New funny return trip quotes 👇

All funny return trip quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Telegram this month:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

11 shares on Discord this month:

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

88 shares on Slack this month:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,500

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Making waves on Instagram:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Making waves on Discord:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Just landed via TikTok:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Making waves on Threads:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴