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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,316

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

Making waves on Reddit:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

Going viral on Telegram:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Freshly posted on X:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Shared recently on Threads:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Trending via WeChat:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Just shared via YouTube:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Funny Robin Williams quotes

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New funny Robin Williams quotes 👇

All funny Robin Williams quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on WeChat this month:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

64 shares on Discord this month:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

68 shares on Threads this month:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

I probably think this song is about me.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,467

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m tired of things costing money.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Going bananas on Facebook:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Breaking via Discord:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Trending via Facebook:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Going viral on Messenger:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Trending via X:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

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