Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Body by sandwich.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Just shared via YouTube:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Trending via Facebook:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Just shared via Facebook:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Just shared via Threads:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Just shared via Threads:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Just shared via Slack:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Just landed via YouTube:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Shared recently on Slack:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Home » Funny Sane Person Quotes

Funny sane person quotes

New funny sane person quotes 👇

For even more funny sane person quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny sane person quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Live now on Facebook:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Seen just now on TikTok:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Going viral on Facebook:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Spotted on Telegram:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Shared recently on Threads:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Going viral on Reddit:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴