Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Life is like a penis. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down. But it’s never hard forever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,528

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Just landed via YouTube:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Just shared via WeChat:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Spotted on YouTube:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Making waves on TikTok:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Just landed via YouTube:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Funny seaweed quotes

Funny seaweed quotes 🌊🌿 bring a splash of humor from beneath the waves! Whether you’re a beach lover or just sea-curious, these quirky lines will have you giggling like a crab at high tide 🦀😂. Dive into the world of punny seaweed antics and let the ocean’s green goodness brighten your day with some salty laughs! 🌟🌊 #SeaweedHumor #OceanVibes

New funny seaweed quotes 👇

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

1 day ago

fish, humor, i, ID, pun, seaweed, smoking
Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

2 weeks ago

culinary, eat, eating, food, great, humor, joke, salt, seaweed, slime, texture, want, wish
Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

2 weeks ago

badass, beach, everyone, fear, humor, leg, nature, reality, seaweed, surprise

All funny seaweed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Threads this month:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

85 shares on Slack this month:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

59 shares on Discord this month:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,455

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Going viral on Pinterest:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Making waves on Facebook:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Trending via Discord:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Just shared via YouTube:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

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