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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Live now on Slack:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Spotted on TikTok:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Spotted on YouTube:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Reported on WhatsApp:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Breaking via Threads:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Making waves on Messenger:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Just landed via Instagram:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

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Funny self-argument quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Going viral on Reddit:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Just landed via Instagram:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Live now on Discord:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Trending via WeChat:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Live now on Threads:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Trending via Twitch:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

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