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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Pyjamas straight off a hot radiator is a winner. Damn, I’m old.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,534

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Freshly posted on Discord:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Making waves on WeChat:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Spotted on Twitch:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Just landed via Facebook:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Slack this month:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

87 shares on Slack this month:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Life is weird and then you die.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

25 shares on Slack this month:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,596

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Addicted to eating one gigantic meal a day like a reptile.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Just landed via Telegram:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Spotted on WeChat:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Making waves on TikTok:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Spotted on Pinterest:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Trending via Discord:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Spotted on Messenger:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Seen just now on Telegram:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

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