Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,693

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Just shared via Slack:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Trending via Facebook:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Live now on Discord:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Spotted on Threads:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Trending via Discord:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Funny smart people quotes

Funny smart people quotes 🤓💡 are the perfect mix of wit and wisdom, guaranteed to make you chuckle while you think! Whether you’re a brainy genius or just love clever humor, these gems will brighten your day and spark some serious LOLs 😂🔥. Ready to get inspired and entertained all at once? Let’s dive into the world where smarts meet snark! 🧠✨

New funny smart people quotes 👇

All funny smart people quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Reddit this month:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Later is the best time to do anything.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,703

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

My middle finger salutes you.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Just landed via Threads:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Just landed via YouTube:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Live now on Snapchat:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

Spotted on Threads:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

Seen just now on YouTube:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Breaking via Discord:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Just landed via Telegram:

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

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