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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,606

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

My love language is being sent money.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Going viral on Threads:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Trending via WhatsApp:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Freshly posted on Slack:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Just shared via YouTube:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Shared recently on Facebook:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Funny speculation quotes

New funny speculation quotes 👇

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

0

2 months ago

alien, aliens, apocalypse, bet, destroy, ever, extraterrestrial, gathering, humor, i, information, information gathering, just, self-destruction, speculation, think, us, waiting, well

Someone from 🇲🇿 has recently bookmarked this quote.

44 shares on Facebook this month.

All funny speculation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Messenger this month:

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

15 shares on Threads this month:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

72 shares on Messenger this month:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

23 shares on Threads this month:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

82 shares on X this month:

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Spotted on WeChat:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Trending via Telegram:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Just shared via TikTok:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Going bananas on X:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Spotted on Threads:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Broadcasted on Threads:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Spotted on TikTok:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny speculation quotes

New funny speculation quotes 👇

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

All funny speculation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨