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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Just shared via X:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Freshly posted on X:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Just shared via TikTok:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Spotted on Reddit:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Just shared via Slack:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Just shared via Instagram:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Spotted on Reddit:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Seen just now on Threads:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Going viral on Slack:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Trending via Snapchat:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Breaking via X:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Trending via Instagram:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Spotted on X:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Trending via TikTok:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Breaking via Reddit:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

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