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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,579

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Spotted on Twitch:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Live now on TikTok:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Going viral on Discord:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Funny spoiler alert quotes

Funny spoiler alert quotes 🚨😄 are the perfect way to tease your friends without giving too much away! Whether you’re binge-watching your favorite series or diving into a thrilling movie, these witty warnings keep the suspense alive while sprinkling in some laughs 😂🎬. Get ready to share some playful spoilers that’ll have everyone chuckling and begging for more—because who says spoilers can’t be fun? 🤫✨

New funny spoiler alert quotes 👇

All funny spoiler alert quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

69 shares on Threads this month:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

59 shares on WeChat this month:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

48 shares on X this month:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

54 shares on X this month:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

I would like even faster food.

31 shares on X this month:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,568

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Freshly posted on X:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Trending via Reddit:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Just shared via Threads:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Just shared via Twitch:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Trending via WeChat:

Another day of meaningless suffering. Let’s see what awaits us tomorrow.

Spotted on Facebook:

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

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