Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,305

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Breaking via YouTube:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

Making waves on Slack:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Shared recently on Slack:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Going bananas on Slack:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Freshly posted on Threads:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Shared recently on Instagram:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Masturbation is easy, but choosing a video is hard.

Funny super talent quotes

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All funny super talent quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

95 shares on Threads this month:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear music, thanks!

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,398

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Making waves on Reddit:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

Making waves on Twitch:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Making waves on Threads:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

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