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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,725

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Just shared via Threads:

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

Breaking via Reddit:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Live now on Telegram:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Shared recently on X:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Trending via YouTube:

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Funny today’s quotes

Funny today’s quotes bring a burst of laughter and good vibes to your day 😂✨ Whether you need a quick pick-me-up or just a clever twist to brighten your mood, these gems are perfect for sharing and smiling 😄💬 Get ready to sprinkle some joy and keep the fun rolling—because who says every day can’t be a little hilarious? 🎉🤣 #MoodBooster #LOL

New funny today’s quotes 👇

All funny today’s quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

55 shares on X this month:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

98 shares on X this month:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,560

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Freshly posted on X:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Just shared via Discord:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Making waves on Facebook:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

Spotted on TikTok:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Freshly posted on Discord:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

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