Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,645

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Trending via Discord:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Just landed via YouTube:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Just landed via Facebook:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Trending via Discord:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Just shared via Telegram:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Spotted on Discord:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Funny tumor quotes

New funny tumor quotes 👇

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

3 weeks ago

brain, brain tumor, dehydration, due, favorite, game, guess, headache, health, health humor, humor, joke, lack, lack of sleep, malnutrition, medical, medical joke, migraine, poor, poor position, position, sleep, stress, tumor

All funny tumor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on X this month:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

Trending via Telegram:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

It’s funny how everyone who was all about Christmas a week ago is suddenly into New Year’s now.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Going viral on TikTok:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Going viral on Messenger:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Spotted on Slack:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Just shared via X:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny tumor quotes

New funny tumor quotes 👇

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

All funny tumor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨