Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Seen just now on Threads:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Shared recently on Reddit:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Spotted on Slack:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Making waves on Twitch:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Spotted on Slack:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

January is the Monday of the year.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

For the record, I use a turntable.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Just shared via Facebook:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Breaking via Telegram:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The void screams into me.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Broadcasted on Threads:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Going viral on Discord:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

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