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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Just shared via Threads:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Going viral on TikTok:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Broadcasted on X:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Spotted on Slack:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Just shared via X:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

Going viral on X:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Just landed via Messenger:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I am single, please disturb me!

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Funny unhappily married quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Live now on Pinterest:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Just shared via Discord:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Just shared via Slack:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Reported on YouTube:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

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