Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,247

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Just landed via YouTube:

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

Spotted on WeChat:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Just shared via Twitch:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Making waves on YouTube:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Funny universal remote quotes

Funny universal remote quotes bring a burst of laughter to those moments when you’re juggling buttons like a pro 🎮😂 From couch commanders to tech bafflers, these witty sayings capture the struggle and joy of controlling every screen with just one device 📺✨ Get ready to smile and relate as we dive into the quirkiest takes on your favorite gadget’s superpowers and mishaps! 🚀🎉

New funny universal remote quotes 👇

All funny universal remote quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Threads this month:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

72 shares on Slack this month:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

36 shares on Threads this month:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

81 shares on Slack this month:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Websites need to realize that no one ever, ever wants the site to be able to send them notifications.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,258

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Making waves on Threads:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Going viral on Discord:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Just landed via Slack:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Trending via Telegram:

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

Shared recently on Instagram:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Seen just now on Reddit:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Going viral on TikTok:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

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