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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Going viral on YouTube:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Just shared via Instagram:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Reported on Telegram:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Shared recently on Threads:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Freshly posted on X:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Breaking via X:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Live now on Telegram:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Reported on Telegram:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Spotted on Telegram:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Making waves on Discord:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

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