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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,547

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Breaking via Facebook:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Going viral on YouTube:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Making waves on YouTube:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Going viral on Discord:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

21 Funny value quotes

More funny value quotes 👇

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

0

5 months ago

25, avocado, avocado toast, cafe, comparison, cooking, cost, delivery, eats, food, food delivery, home, home cooking, humor, labor, labor cost, minute, money, price, price comparison, time, toast, Uber, Uber Eats, value, value of time, worth

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All funny value quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Messenger this month:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

61 shares on YouTube this month:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Live now on YouTube:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Making waves on Messenger:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

21 Funny value quotes

More funny value quotes 👇

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

All funny value quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨