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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Just landed via Threads:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Spotted on Facebook:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

Going viral on Slack:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Life is like a penis. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down. But it’s never hard forever.

Spotted on TikTok:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Trending via Instagram:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Just shared via Instagram:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Funny wage policy quotes

New funny wage policy quotes 👇

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

3 weeks ago

cost, cost of living, economy, expensive, food, food price, humor, i, inflation, irony, just, living, love, minimum, minimum wage, policy, price, raise, wage, wage policy

All funny wage policy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Slack this month:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

45 shares on Discord this month:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Is there a word for FOMO but it’s already happened and you didn’t know about it when it was happening?

29 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

Making waves on Instagram:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Making waves on Snapchat:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Just landed via Twitch:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Making waves on Slack:

The shitshow must go on.

Making waves on Messenger:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Trending via Snapchat:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Going viral on Twitch:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

Trending via Slack:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny wage policy quotes

New funny wage policy quotes 👇

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

All funny wage policy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨