Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Using Twitter as a semi-vague posting journal for memory purposes.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,391

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Shared recently on Threads:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Just shared via Instagram:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Funny winter body quotes

Funny winter body quotes ❄️😂 capture the cozy chaos of those extra layers and holiday snacks! From snuggly sweaters hiding all the fluff to the struggle of jumping out of bed when it’s freezing, these hilarious lines bring warmth and laughter to chilly days. Whether you’re embracing your winter bod or just surviving the season’s snack attacks, get ready to smile and relate with some seriously funny vibes! ⛄️🍫🧣

New funny winter body quotes 👇

All funny winter body quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Threads this month:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

81 shares on X this month:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

53 shares on Slack this month:

Being a little freak is my love language.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

49 shares on Slack this month:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

79 shares on Threads this month:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Aura is the real business card.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Over Christmas, some bastard has snuck into my house, gone into my wardrobe, stolen my work trousers, and replaced them with a smaller pair.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday, my boss asked me what I did for a living.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,473

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I miss the days when “What’s for dinner” wasn’t my problem.

Spotted on TikTok:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Just shared via Slack:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Trending via YouTube:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

Seen just now on YouTube:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

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