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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2246 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,408

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,408

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Spotted on X:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Breaking via TikTok:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Spotted on Slack:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Just shared via Twitch:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Home » Funny Wishy-washy Quotes

Funny wishy-washy quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2246 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,408

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,408

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Spotted on Threads:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Just shared via Slack:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Just landed via YouTube:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Spotted on Telegram:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Spotted on Threads:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

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