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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,963

Funny Quotes Topics

14,762

Funny Quotes Images

11,963

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Making waves on YouTube:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Just landed via Telegram:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media. Like, why am I showing my life?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The future is buffering.

Just landed via Threads:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Spotted on WeChat:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,963

Funny Quotes Topics

14,762

Funny Quotes Images

11,963

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Going viral on Messenger:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Breaking via Slack:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Just landed via Discord:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Making waves on Discord:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Spotted on Discord:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Trending via Pinterest:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Going viral on Threads:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Going viral on Threads:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

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