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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Trending via Messenger:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Just shared via Twitch:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Trending via Pinterest:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Reported on Threads:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Reported on Twitch:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

35 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Trending via Pinterest:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Reported on X:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

Reported on TikTok:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Spotted on X:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Shared recently on WeChat:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

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