Funny wooden horse quotes

45 shares on Messenger this month:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

11 shares on Facebook this month:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.