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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Just shared via Messenger:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Just landed via Facebook:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Just shared via Reddit:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Spotted on X:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Going viral on YouTube:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Just landed via YouTube:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Spotted on Facebook:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Just shared via Discord:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Spotted on X:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

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