Commentary:
When you say "hyperbole" like "guacamole," it's sure to make the party dip into laughter 🥑😂
305 Funny wordplay quotes
If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.
Commentary:
Is my bed a secret wrestling ring I didn't know about? 🤔🤼♂️🛌
“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.
Commentary:
Naming your kid 'Autophagy' might sound trendy, but imagine their playdate with 'Photosynthesis' and 'Mitosis'! 🌱🤣
“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.
Commentary:
Fifty shades of e-musement right there! 😂🎨👀
If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?
Commentary:
Sounds like my leggings have graduated to "almost-jeans" status 😂🤷♀️ #LeggingLogic
Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.
Commentary:
Turning into a serial complimenter, one kind word at a time! 😄💬💀
A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.
Commentary:
Just imagining brokers shouting "Buy low, swim fast!" on the sperm exchange floor 🤣💸💦
No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.
Commentary:
When grapes become grape-ful, everything falls into place 🍇🍷✌️
If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.
Commentary:
Guess lasagnas took the "less is more" philosophy a bit too seriously! 🍕+🍕=2, but 🍝+🍝=1 🤔😂
My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.
Commentary:
Feeling a bit backed up on worries now, aren't we? 😂💩🩺