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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

18 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,725

Funny Quotes Topics

15,374

Funny Quotes Images

12,725

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Just shared via WeChat:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Reported on Facebook:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Spotted on Twitch:

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

Shared recently on X:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Live now on Threads:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Just shared via Telegram:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Home » Funny Yoko Ono Quotes

Funny Yoko Ono quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

18 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,725

Funny Quotes Topics

15,374

Funny Quotes Images

12,725

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,465

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Spotted on X:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Making waves on WeChat:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Going viral on Instagram:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Going viral on Telegram:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Making waves on YouTube:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Spotted on YouTube:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

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