Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,615

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Spotted on Twitch:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Seen just now on Reddit:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Making waves on Slack:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Trending via Instagram:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Why do apps updating their format feel like my phone's playing hide and seek with my sanity? 🤯📱🔄"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

28 shares on X this month:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

57 shares on Threads this month:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

19 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,496

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Just landed via Discord:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Everyday I wait for a vampire to seduce me.

Making waves on X:

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Making waves on Telegram:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Making waves on TikTok:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Spotted on Reddit:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Spotted on Telegram:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

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