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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

In banana years, I am bread.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Going viral on Reddit:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Spotted on Facebook:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Going bananas on Facebook:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Spotted on Instagram:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Trying new things in 2023: Limbo champion at the bead curtain farm 🐴🚫🏆

awkward, awkward situation, bead, bead curtain, broken, broken leg, curtain, getting, horse, humor, leg, me, put, sex, sex shop, shop, situation, tangled

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

1 month ago
existential, humor, insane, later, life, madness, purpose, sooner
Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

1 month ago
care, comedy, ever, frustration, good, humor, interaction, nobody, nobody care, shake, social, social interaction, somebody, whisper
What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

1 month ago
always, business, context, dream, dreams, getting, having, just, point, sex, sex dream, wake, wake up
“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

1 month ago
bed, cat, humor, i, insurance, joke, let, life, life insurance, pet, put, sarcasm
Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

1 month ago
25, bliss, couple, happy, humor, husband, irony, love, marriage, relationship
The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

1 month ago
best, conflict, enemy, friend, friendship, guess, humor, i, irony, own, self, worst

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Seen just now on Facebook:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Seen just now on Threads:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Trending via Discord:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

Seen just now on Slack:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m sick of living through history!

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

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Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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