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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,383

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

Trending via X:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Going viral on Telegram:

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Spotted on YouTube:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Spotted on Telegram:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Just landed via YouTube:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Freshly posted on X:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

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Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying new things in 2023: Limbo champion at the bead curtain farm 🐴🚫🏆

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

58 shares on Threads this month:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

82 shares on Twitch this month:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

88 shares on Slack this month:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Cool times create cool guys.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,693

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Trending via WeChat:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

Trending via Pinterest:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Live now on LinkedIn:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Going viral on Threads:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Shared recently on Slack:

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

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