Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.
  • Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.
  • Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?
  • People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?
  • I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.
  • Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.