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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,353

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Making waves on Twitch:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

Live now on YouTube:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Just shared via Discord:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Just shared via Discord:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Going viral on X:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Going viral on TikTok:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Therapy – where even your brain gets a professional reality check 🧠🚶‍♂️ 'Ohhh, so that's how you've been rolling all this time?'" 🤣

around, brain, going, growth, having, health, humor, insight, living, mental, mental health, personal, personal growth, self-discovery, someone, therapy, walk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

0

2 months ago

completion, done, fact, humor, i, irony, job, motivation, procrastinate, procrastination, productivity, reason, self-awareness, still, task, task completion, work
You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

0

4 months ago

billionaire, closer, commentary, ever, humor, proximity, social, social commentary, street
Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

0

2 months ago

apart, being, emotional, emotional struggle, falling, falling apart, feelings, figure, health, hormonal, hormonal sadness, humor, just, mental, mental health, mood, sad, sadness, seasonal, seasonal sadness, sometimes, struggle, trying, woman
Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

0

2 months ago

Barbie, doll, movie, plot, whatever, worse
I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

0

2 months ago

admiration, attraction, beautiful, beautiful woman, car, compliment, fire, flattery, humor, i, inside, love, woman
Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

0

2 months ago

brain, brain failure, comedy, death, failure, humor, irony, lead, life, living, people, proof

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

74 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

19 shares on Slack this month:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

35 shares on Threads this month:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Trending via Threads:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Making waves on Reddit:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

Shared recently on Slack:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Going viral on Twitch:

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨