Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?
  • Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.
  • I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.
  • I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.
  • The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.
  • Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.