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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

The older I get, no.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,511

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Making waves on Facebook:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Trending via Snapchat:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Seen just now on Threads:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

Breaking via TikTok:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

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Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.
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Commentary:
Sounds like we need the cheat code for life before hitting the high score 🤔🕹️ #StackingUp

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Reddit this month:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

73 shares on Discord this month:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

14 shares on Slack this month:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Is losing your mind a hobby?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,511

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Trending via Telegram:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Seen just now on Facebook:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Making waves on WeChat:

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

Spotted on TikTok:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Just landed via YouTube:

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Trending via Messenger:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Going viral on WeChat:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

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