Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Making art is making love to the world.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,812

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Spotted on YouTube:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Just landed via WeChat:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Going viral on Reddit:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Just landed via TikTok:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Going viral on Slack:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Just landed via Twitch:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When he says, "I know a spot," just make sure your GPS is ready for a plot twist! 📍🤪🌀

dating, downward, downward spiral, expectations, guy, guys, humor, i, know, relationship, say, spiral, spot, take, trust

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

0

2 months ago

communication, expression, humor, sigh, speak, woman, words
I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

0

5 months ago

ago, animal, animals, better, cat, cat owner, easily, failure, food, giving, holy, humor, i, judge, just, organ, organ failure, owner, pet, pets, shit, starve, stubborn, taste, time, too, used, weeks, whim
Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

0

3 weeks ago

beer, called, drink, girl, healing, healing potion, humor, potion, try
I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

0

2 months ago

angel, chat, coordination, fate, future, future husband, group, group chat, guardian, guardian angel, humor, husband, i, love, relationship, trying, wonder
Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

0

3 months ago

asking, communication, cool, ever, humor, reassurance, relationship, sex, unsolicited, unsolicited reassurance
Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, blessing, cheerful, day, gratitude, humor, lord, nature, outdoors, positivity, smell, sunny, sunny day

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

18 shares on Instagram this month:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

15 shares on Slack this month:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Shared recently on X:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Making waves on Reddit:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Making waves on X:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Going bananas on Reddit:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨