Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Worst feeling is playing a game and having nobody to talk to about it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,475

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Going viral on Slack:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Trending via Twitch:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Spotted on Telegram:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Deleting university to focus on Twitter.

Just shared via Discord:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Just landed via YouTube:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Testing sibling boundaries: the ultimate survival training! 😂🤼‍♂️🔪

amount, annoy, before, conflict, family, having, humor, important, kill, learn, love-hate, physically, relationship, rivalry, sibling, sibling rivalry, siblings, someone, try

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

0

2 months ago

communication, conversation, humor, just, listen, listening, people, talking, wait
I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

0

2 months ago

appearance, casual, confidence, day, humor, impressed, just, public, self-image, ugly
Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

0

2 months ago

14th, couple, day, expensive, getting, home, hotel, hotel room, humor, people, position, positions, relationship, room, rooms, same, sex, sex position, shout, travel, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day
Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

0

1 month ago

craving, day, days, dessert, disappointment, food, food craving, hate, humor, i, life, most, sucks, tiramisu
Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

0

2 months ago

call, humor, just, living, office, reality, simulation, technology, today, virtual, work
Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

0

2 months ago

account, advice, ask, bank, bank account, before, bridge, bridge troll, buy, buying, easy, financial, financial advice, humor, i, me, money, need, riddles, something, spending, too, troll

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Threads this month:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

86 shares on Threads this month:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I woke up extra early today to get in as much ‘worrying about it being Monday tomorrow’ as possible.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

Making waves on X:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Breaking via X:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨