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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,606

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Making waves on Slack:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Trending via Pinterest:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Just shared via Telegram:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Going viral on Telegram:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

3 hours ago

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Commentary:
Oops, I guess my joke left everyone more confused than amused! 🤔😂🥴

accidental, accidental humor, accidentally, awkwardness, concern, dark, dark humor, health, help, humor, i, mental, mental health, normal, normal people, people, social, social awkwardness, used

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

0

2 months ago

coffee, expectations, humor, i, low, mornings, motivation, routine, sarcasm, start
Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

0

5 months ago

crossing, humor, i, joke, just, list, list management, management, motivation, procrastination, productivity, task, things, to-do, to-do list, want
Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

0

4 months ago

attention, attention to detail, baby, confidence, detail, flirtation, humor, me, sexy, study
Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

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2 months ago

backflip, dream, forever, funny dream, just, memory, show, someone, stranger, surprise, unexpected, unexpected visitor, visitor
Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

0

2 months ago

buy, buying, eat, having, Lil, little, need, not having, snack, snacks, worst
I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

0

2 months ago

anything, enthusiasm, fire, i, joy, motivation, passion, purpose, set, soul, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

70 shares on X this month:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I probably think this song is about me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Just shared via Messenger:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Going viral on Reddit:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Going viral on X:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Seen just now on Slack:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Going viral on Messenger:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Shared recently on Threads:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨