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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,298

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Going viral on Instagram:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

1 month ago

Playful quote about high school crushes and frantic schoolyard chases.

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Commentary:
Running across campus for a two-second crush sighting? Call it cardio for the heart! 🏃‍♀️💓👀

awkward, catch, crazy, crush, glimpse, hell, high, high school, i, just, love, memory, over, running, school, teenager, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Messenger this month:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Seen just now on Slack:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Making waves on Instagram:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Trending via Twitch:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Shared recently on Discord:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Just landed via Discord:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Just landed via Twitch:

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨